They Have Learned to Suffer Well
They Have Learned to Suffer Well
It has been said, that those who appear to get a fair or better experience in life, have simply adjusted
more quickly to their circumstances.
They have learned that fairness and equality doesn’t equate to sameness. Each person is remarkably
and extraordinarily different, original and unique. Sameness would be uncool.
They have learned that being treated the same way, will only work if every single person starts their
journey exactly in the same place, and with the same set of life tools.
They have learned the difference between surviving, existing, living and thriving.
Their instinct to survive has become an ongoing, purposeful and daily intention to be fully living.
They have learned that the suffering they are feeling right now is almost bearable. They’ve recognized
and experienced that it’s the worry to avoid the suffering of the future, that is unbearable.
They have learned to look for, find and accept the hands, care and sustenance of their fellow humans.
They have learned first-hand that these helping hands are almost always available, but they are often
hidden by the terrible double suffering humans inflict upon themselves and on their own.
They know they can withstand almost anything because they know they are not alone.
They have learned that asking for help, do not make them weak, helpless, feeble or quick to prejudge.
They have learned to be open, and that asking for help shows humility, communion and courage.
They have learned to allow others to carry them when fear, anguish and despair, paralyze their most
basic functions; Most people genuinely want to help, supply a need, lend an ear without assumptions.
They have learned the balanced mixture of rain and sunshine, teardrops of joy and pain and that the
way back to joy... it’s the long road of despair.
They have learned to carry everywhere, an important first aid kit, a life-saving toolbox filled with
Gratitude, Mercy and Grace... for others and for themselves.
They have learned that self-judgment, insecurity and bias clouds everyone’s souls; Offering others the
benefit of the doubt, it’s their intentional goal.
They offer empathy and perspective to themselves and to others in negative situations. Good people
also make bad choices, forgive their own humanity and move forward without discrimination.
They have learned that forgiving oneself is way more challenging than forgiving others.
They know self-forgiveness is critical to an overall well-being, self- healing and not feeling smothered.
They have learned that people will treat them in the way they see themselves. They’ve decided to be in
an ever-ending mission to grow, learn and understand; Self-actualization has become their real wealth.
They have learned to share their experiences, knowledge and expertise to benefit others.
They have learned and gained more knowledge from those who have differed from one another.
They have learned that knowledge is only potential power if not put into action.
Knowledge, just like money and resources can only increase in value when put into circulation.
They have learned to unlock their minds and hearts and let out bottled up thoughts and emotions.
They have thrown away the key which kept them captive, and in a valley of mental erosion.
They have learned to seek expert advice to help them balance their ups and downs. They know they’re
not quitting or giving up by taking a break, a pause, a rest, unplug, relax or by slowing down.
They have learned that everything that happens in the world is fluid and changing; Emotions, thoughts,
space, time, positive and negative feelings and life itself, are dynamic and ever-changing.
They have learned that it takes equal amount of energy to control and resist and to accept and let go.
They’ve found the greatest treasure of them all; Health is wealth, the wisest of men have always known.
They help with a heart full of deep gratitude, and out sheer recognition of how much they have been
given, forgiven, prayed up and cared by others.
They have also learned that some people are not ready to ask or give help; In time they’ll ask and freely
give without the expectation of an outcome, end-result, or anything in return from others.
They have learned that some people have been burned, used and abused by someone who has helped
them out arrogance, self-aggrandizement, or to have power over them.
They have learned to keep their unclenched fists always open. They’ve experience bountiful joy in
giving; Giving it’s not a transaction, an investment or a debt, to them.
They have learned that the worst hardships, bring along renewed and magnified strength and hope.
Fortified with knowledge, faith, health, and a friendly hand is how they crawl out of a dark hole.
They have learned, experienced and know for sure, that suffering is inevitable, and no one escapes it.
They’ve learned the world is a profoundly tragic place, so they no longer ask why. They just accept it.
They have learned and chosen to get up after a horrible fall; After all, this place itself is a fallen world.
They stand firm and resolute; They don’t waste time avoiding the unavoidable and remain undisturbed.
They have seen that Olympians have learned to accept pain and suffering as their path to greatness.
They’re part of a greater whole. Their strength’s foundation is solidarity and togetherness with
confidence and straightness.
They have learned that when they reach the end of themselves, feeling unseen and not enough;
When they’ve fallen into the void of the bottom of the abyss, and life feels like a dreadful chore.
They’ve learned and know for sure that when they’ve looked beyond themselves
They’ve always found a supreme the greatest force, and providence once more.
They have learned to navigate and experience life, people and circumstances.
Faith, hope, a helping hand, a force greater than themselves could be dire absences.
They now know that they can suffer with resentment, grudges, hurt, blame, and unending anger.
They can as well suffer with forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, grace and merciful power.
In this life, they have learned to suffer well, hence... they’ve chosen the latter.
I wrote this piece during the COVID-19 pandemic. I had been hospitalized three times for shortness of
breath. Every time I returned from the hospital, I self-isolated just in case. I started to reflect in the
different ways people deal and cope with suffering. Suffering is something I am very familiar with.
It is part of our human condition and being alive. In life we all endure mental, emotional, physical and
spiritual pain. Our responses to suffering, can deeply affect our attitude towards life, making us bitter or
making us better.
We could suppress, distract and numb our suffering with food, medicine, workaholism, relationships
and vices; It does go away temporarily and for a little bit. We could also learn to deal, feel and own the
suffering, which is excruciatingly painful. This latter option eventually helps us get better and start the
healing process; We then intentionally and purposefully learn, grow, adapt and make better choices.
It is my hope and wish that one day... I will to learn to suffer well.