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She Has Seen This Before
She Has Seen This Before
She has seen this before: nurses and doctors rushing to the baby who's trying desperately to draw a breath and finding none to be had.
She has seen this before: resuscitation by compression of a tiny chest with the great possibility of having the barely put back together ribs, broken again.
She has seen this before: the baby being placed in the anesthesiologist’s arms and and being whisked away to the operating room while listening to the words” please God let this not be the last time I see this baby alive”
She has seen this before: In the post surgery room, the little baby's body is covered by tubes and cords. Some coming out of her mouth, groins and lungs and from everywhere else in the body where there is a hole.
She has seen this before: Caring, compassionate doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists and more. Yet, with the overwhelming feeling of being in the middle of a real war zone with imminent threats at any given moment and from every direction. Alone!
She has seen this before: In the recovery room, a bloody nasal gastric tube needs to be replaced. Later that day, a gastroenterologist announces that a new gastric tube, ought to be surgically placed. “This is a life-saving procedure,” he explains. The baby needs to be ready for the next surgery and needs to gain weight.
She has seen this before: back at the hospital room, the never-ending beeping of monitors, the IV pole, the countless treatments, hundreds of shots. Months of interrupted sleepless nights, terrifying nightmares of fright. Yet, softly whispered prayers ”Please God, please, let the baby stay alive”
She has seen this before: back at the hospital once more . The baby has become a toddler and the closest companion Is still the IV pole. Walking through the hospital's halls with a feeding bag and pump clamped to the pole, sometimes the toddler follows the pole and its shadow, and other times, the toddler is followed by the pole.
She has seen this before: Neighbors, coworkers, friends, taking a break from their own struggles coming by the baby’s bedside. Some bring offerings that nourish the body and the soul. Others bring the gift of life and leave part of themselves behind. A reminder that in the worst of time the best human behaviors rise up to the highest level of nobility. Is this what Care-Gifting looks like?
She has seen this before: A regular office visit becomes a hospital stay. Siblings need to be picked up from school. There's a long list for the day. Siblings looking forward to a movie date. Respite care is in place. “There's something wrong but we don't know what it is yet”. “We need a catheterization” ” prepare for a week stay”
She has seen this before: In the waiting room there is a doctor’s debate.”A catheterization might not suffice” says one,”We might need to operate” The mother is also debating: with herself. The worst battles are fought inside our heads.Thoughts bouncing all over the place: from Joy to anger, from gratitude to despair, from light to darkness from heaven to hell.
She has seen this before: In the post-surgery room. The child is waking up from yet another surgery. A subtle smile on the face. Locks eyes with the surgeon and they hold an intense gaze. I might not fully understand all the medical terminology but I do understand his soul. It is obvious that so did the child, with their eyes they have said ALL.
She has seen this before: Scars that loving fingers have repeatedly traced on a body that looks like a battle ground from being cut up open, heavily bruised, stitched, lacerated, stapled and more. They’re marks of valor, life-saving hero’s autographs and visual signposts of all the battles fought and won.
She has seen this before: Heroic kindness in teachers, parents and other adults, towards the scar warriors as the bullies and shamers viciously play a soul crashing stunt. Do they know that by protecting bullied scared kids, they might be saving their lives once more? Saving them from the invisible yet agonizing mental scars. Perhaps, saving them from isolating, paralyzing and drowning depression that pushes kids to committing suicide? Choosing to use what every human being possesses : The Super Powered life-saving decision to be an upstander! right?
She has seen this before: A crying teen in the middle of the night pleading with God to make things alright. The by-products of the illness: depression, anxiety, fears that make life an unbearable plight. The teen is falling apart. Diligent work has been done! Every school requirement and expectation. Quizzes and exams and every other obligation. Classmates have chosen the colleges they dream. The teen, the closest one to their medical team. High school friends picking out prom tuxedos and prom gowns, while the teen is donning yet, another hospital gown.
She has seen this before: Dreams of serving, volunteering like the siblings did before. No big deal, knows the ropes, has the grades, the stellar recommendations, has it ALL. The recruiter gives high fives, “with flying colors you will pass”! But wait..”.I am really sorry… it is not YOU. it’s your illness. Your application has been denied”.
She has NOT seen this before: Now a young adult, college graduate, a biologist working in the medical field. A pandemic has occurred. People are suffering with COVID-19. Grandparents, parents, the family’s keepers, society’s strong oaks are in danger! Pink lips and nails turning blue, fluid collecting around lungs, laborious breathing, COVID-19 is an evil stranger.
She has NOT seen this before: Critical medical supply shortages. Personal protective gear and great need for ventilators. People's lungs are flooded, faces filled with terror, like a fish out water with non-existing respirators.
Mayra Melgar: She has NOT seen this before: Governments around the world asking every single soul “Please, I beg YOU please, stay indoors”. Some call it social distancing, self isolation, seclusion, staying at home. It REALLY is a life-saving practice for everyone in the world. Becoming someone’s hero is now within your reach. The embrace and kiss of death shall not be given. Please stay home, please just do it. Don’t you just preach!
She has seen this before: The young adult has been through it all. Nurses, doctors rushing to the baby who’s trying desperately to draw a breath and finding none to be had. None!!!. This time there was no need for resuscitation. The battle was not theirs to be won, There were not enough ventilators. Freedom of association and EGO had won.
Nanny and Family Bond
These are the kids you will oversee. They are curious, funny, smart and playful. Are up for the task? What are their schedules? Eating habits? Food allergies? What makes their heart sing? I ask.
You’ll figure it out. We’re carefree, we try not to use the word NO and eat whatever we please.
Do they take a nap? Do they have playdates? indoor and outdoor activities? Do they like trees?
They are free thinking rebels who really love to eat; They eat healthy food sometimes. They’ve had
other caregivers too.
They Have Learned to Suffer Well
It has been said, that those who appear to get a fair or better experience in life, have simply adjusted
more quickly to their circumstances.
They have learned that fairness and equality doesn’t equate to sameness. Each person is remarkably
and extraordinarily different, original and unique. Sameness would be uncool.
They have learned that being treated the same way, will only work if every single person starts their
journey exactly in the same place, and with the same set of life tools.
The Monsters Inside
The child gets off the school bus, holding a single flower inside a vase.
He runs towards the front door with a big smile on his face.
This is for you! Happy Birthday! I wish I could give you the sun, the moon, the world.
I promise, one day I’ll take you faraway places; When I grow up and you’re not too old.
The pre-teen comes inside the house with a subtle smile and a new friend.
How was your day? Are you guys hungry? Here is your package that was sent.
I hear some laughter and half of the food is gone. Homework is done!
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